i think that i'm really liking LA because i'm really liking myself more. weird...it's not where you live, but how you feel. i could live here. there are some fantastic communities! love.

hahaha. i said mia farrow was in ferris bueller's day off. she wasn't. the girl's name was mia. not farrow.

I AM NOT RUNNING ANYMORE!!!!!!

i'm taking a fucking stand and taking possesion of my life. Dues are paid in full, bitches!!!!

seriously. i am a powerhouse and i am not going to hide from that anymore or ignore it or think its just going to go away. talents, dreams and passions don't just go away. they are what they are and it is a damn shame if they are wasted. i was put here for a reason. no apologies. i am in lalaland for a reason and i am loving it. who knew? i don't need xanax or prozac or any of those things...i just need to jump off the freaking fence! i have been threatening to do it for a llloooooonnnnggg time and time is now. now now now. i say that by the time i am a speed limit, this time in my life will be a distant memory. i am doing it. i am done waffling and making excuses. yyyyaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!! GET ME A TATTOO!!!!

ok. so i'm a runner. i don't like a situation, and i go. almost immediately. its a frustrating habit and i don't know when it started. not when i was little. i seemed to be fearless when i was young. always performing, creating a stage, an audience. unafraid to take chances. wore insane outfits and jumped off cliffs. was a social butterfly and an introverted intellectual. life seemed great. frustrating but great. i was frustrated that i wasn't in the girl's version of stand by me. i . liked walking on train tracks. i loved stephen king. or on, "you can't do that on television" i wanted to be the prisoner, all tied up priness leia style. i wanted to be the astronaut in "space camp". i wanted to be mia farrow in Ferris bueller. i wanted fantasy and romance and excitement even when i was little, but i lived in whitefish mt and couldn't have it, so i settled for great costumes and being the center of attention when i could. but that's beside the point. probably every girl wanted to be those things...uhg..baby in dirty dancing..please!!!

but i had some really great things. i got to go to summer camp far away and ride horses and cheerlead and raft guide and have lots of freedom with friends and boys.

boys. ok. its boys.

of-fucking-course it is. maybe if i was a lesbian it wouldn't be, but when besides then, isn't it?

i am a chaser longing to be chased. i was a chase girl on the playground. always creating a reason to chase or be chased.

and i still chase and it doesn't work and then i run like hell, hoping to be chased back, and instead i'm left with just me and my shadow...on the move. and i'm so freaking cute! i don't get it!

took me awhile to upload. i have such issues with computers.

walking in toluca lake.

whip it whipped it! want to land a movie like that. i would take big bruises to be in a movie with a bunch of tough girls directed by drew barrymore.

maybe i should stay in LA and land a movie. that would be nice.

my shadow in toluca lake

going to Whip it!!!

hmmm. a blog. about me. my travels. my adventures. my obsession with taking pictures of myself on my blackberry. my walks. my thoughts. interesting? boring as hell? i don't know. but i like it.